11 January 2008

Missed a couple of days there - oh well, no matter!

I have this Big Thought pending but I'm not sure how to go about writing it down... it's about ideals, the ideals I hold against which I measure my life's progress. I wonder where these ideals come from? I don't even know clearly what they are until my life takes some huge deviation and for whatever reason I find myself thinking this is not how I thought it would be. A lot of the time I think that's a positive thing, that the deviation is a result of one of my individual characteristics, and those events are what makes my life unique. In many ways I think my life has pretty much stuck to the straight and narrow, semi-professional hoop-jumper that I am; but in other ways, for better and worse, I have done things I never intended.

I think I have been harbouring regrets about those things that fall on the worse side of the equation, and felt uncomfortable about the conflict between the things that have happened to me, the things I have done, and the image I had of the way things were supposed to be. Today, though, I had lunch with a buddy from work who said there's no point regretting things. I think that's right - for better or worse, my unplanned happenings are an equation, they are my life, and without them I would just be some fairy-tale princess living to a plan with no life experience or depth of character.

If there's one thing I would really regret, it's making the same mistakes over and over. Life may not go to plan, I'm not even sure I have a plan, my ideals are probably irrelevant since "mistakes" are all part of the positive process of living and growing.